Rules of Dating: Asking

If you’re a girl, asking guys on dates be… intimidating. Not only is it total role reversal, but if the guy you want to ask on a date is a guy you makes your face light up as much as it possibly can, and makes you smile every time you see him, and just thinking of him makes you close your eyes and scrunch your whole body together for five seconds (ask my family, I actually do that and they don’t know why), then asking him anything is a major victory and might make you feel like dying. Don’t worry, I have volunteered to help using my own personal experience with the matter.

So you don’t say “do you want to go on a date?” exactly, or at least I don’t, but if you’re on that level of friendship or courage then just go for it. But if you’re like me, so not on that level that it hurts, just try to use a general term like “do you want to hang out?” Unless he’s totally dense, he’ll get that you’re interested in a little bit more than just friendship. I hope. I should also note that these things are always better and more intimidating in person, but if you (like me) find out that you’re free when he’s not in the area, a text or Facebook message is passable. But think: What are my chances of actually reaching him by Facebook? Slim? Use logic and proceed with caution.

So assuming he says yes, yeah, sure, I guess, sounds like fun, I’d love to, or anything of that nature then yay! The hard part is almost over. Well actually the whole thing is the hard part, but you’re almost done. If he says no, just take it as a minor setback; there is a guy for you, and this just might not be the guy, or if he is, he just doesn’t know it yet.

So what happens after he gives a remotely affirmative answer? In my case he actually said “I’ll have to check what I have going on, I’ll get back to you at practice tomorrow” so then you wait, or you just set it up as soon as you know. Plan something fun, convenient, remotely inexpensive, and comfortable. Don’t try to make it too intimate, especially if it’s the first date. A lot of the classic date ideas are fun and cute which is what makes them so popular: Movies, a picnic, study date, stuff like that. You can go creative if you want, just make sure it’s something you both will enjoy.

And then when he tells you that his family’s taking an impromptu weekend trip you might have returned to square one (okay yeah that was me but at least now I have his number), but the important part is that you’re (I’m) on the radar, so just go forth with fun. Que sera sera and c’est la vie c’est l’amour I always say.

It’s not over yet so I’ll keep you posted.


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