When Alec looks right over my head,
because really who doesn’t,
and I do nothing worthy of being noticed,
because really how could I,
I tell myself that I don’t have a crush…
but I so do.
Then I tell myself to honor girl code and why do I have the same crush as my best friend!
That is not what I want.
I want to be highly attractive the way Emily is,
not exactly that she’s beautiful, but that everybody wants to see and know her,
I want Ally’s confidence, her only thing worth wanting,
and Leslie’s smile which is indiscriminate and lovely,
I want to stop being unspectacular,
so I simply remember:
Jack, Broadway, shopping, and last May with “Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries,”
shallow memories, but the best ones anyway,
and then I’m perfect again.
I am most talented again, most beautiful again, most most again
and everybody will always love me.
It all just becomes okay because with Jack, Broadway, Shopping, and “Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries”
I have lived a thousand and one night lives.
None of which included Alec.